A Day in the Life of the Organization
by spiderzrmahfriendz
Summary: What really goes on in the Organization? Admire my delightfully corny summary as it invites you to the World that Never Was and sits you down in the midst of all the meetings that progress through the plot amongst who else but your favorite band of Nobodies.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So this is my first fic, and I know that I've changed a lot of stuff according to the plot as well as some of the characters being a bit OOC, but here it is! By the way, this takes place just before Roxas is initiated as number XIII in the organization.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The organization, now called the Evil Heartless Heart Collecting Nobody Council Organization of Doom, are gathered in the meeting room.

Xemnas: "All right! All right everyone! I have called all of my fellow members of my organization, the Evil Heartless Heart Collecting Nobody Council Organization of Doom, to be gathered here for our weekly meeting where we address our complaints and important goings on. And the meeting is now in session, but first, we must take attendance to make sure all of us are here. I shall call upon my trusted helper, Saix, to take the attendance. Saix?"

Saix steps forward with the attendance sheet.

Saix: "Alright, number two–"

Xemnas: "Saix! What are you doing? You've forgotten number one! The most important one! Me!"

Saix: "But we all know that you're here."

Xemnas: "Yes, Saix, I am here, but you still need to read my name and number off that list so everyone else know that I am here."

Saix: "But– "

Xemnas: "Saix! Address me!"

Saix: "Okay fine then. Number one, Xemnas–"

Xemnas: "Glorious Kingdom Hearts! I am here! Saix, why did you ask me if I was here? I'm the one who organized this meeting in the first place as the leader of the organization. Of course I would be here."

Saix facepalms, but continues nonetheless.

Saix: "Number two, Xigbar?"

Xigbar decides to joke around as he snickers.

Xigbar: "I'm not here!"

Saix does not find it funny, nor does he fall for it.

Saix: "Xigbar is here."

He marks Xigbar as 'here' on his attendance sheet.

Xemnas: "Saix! Did you not just hear him? He said he wasn't here! So mark Xigbar off as 'not here.'"

Xigbar: "Heh, heh…now just sit back and watch the chaos ensue. I'm out.

He starts to leave, but Xaldin, who is sitting next to him drags him back to his seat.

Xaldin: "Oh, no you don't. You always do this. Always! And it's pissing me off that we have to sit through this whole attendance thing every single time because of you. You're staying here."

Saix: "Superior, Xigbar is here."

Xemnas: "But he just said he wasn't here."

Xigbar: "Okay, fine, dude, I was just kidding."

Xemnas: "Just kidding about what? Saix, write down that Xigbar is here."

Saix: "I've already done that, Superior."

Xemnas: "Alright, good, now continue."

Saix: "Number three, Xaldin–"

Xaldin: "I'm here! Now just get on with it!"

Saix: "Number four–"

Xemnas: "Saix! Is Xigbar here?"

Xigbar: "Yes, I am."

Xemnas: "I was asking Saix, Xigbar. Don't answer other people's questions."

Saix: "Number four, Vexen?"

Vexen: "Here."

Xemnas: "Saix! You haven't answered my question!"

Saix: "Xemnas, Xigbar is here. I'm on number four now."

Xemnas: "No, Saix, go back to number two."

Vexen: "Excuse me, Superior, but if I may interrupt–"

Xemnas: "No, Vexen, you may not interrupt."

Vexen: "Well, as the oldest member of the organization, I think that since I deserve the utmost respect, we should skip ahead to number four. Me."

Xemnas: "But we don't know if Xigbar is here, yet, so we need to go back to number two."

Xigbar: "Dude! I'm here!"

Xemnas: "You see? He's here. Now we continue."

Saix: "Number four–"

Xemnas: "Saix! Can't you count? We're on number three now!"

Saix: "But Xaldin is here."

Xemnas: "Has he told us that?"

Saix: "Yes."

Xaldin: "Ugh, Xigbar this is all your fault! We never get anything done in these meetings."

Xigbar: "You wouldn't let me leave!"

Xaldin: "That's so you would see how annoying you are!"

Vexen: "Can we just get on with the meeting?"

Saix: "Number four, Vexen?"

Vexen: "Thank you! I'm here."

Saix: "Number five–"

Xemnas: "Saix! You know we don't have a number five!"

Saix: "Yes we do. Lexaeus is sitting right over there."

Xemnas: "Really?"

Saix: "Yes. He's sitting right over there."

Xemnas: "Where?"

Lexaeus: "Here, Superior."

Xemnas jumps back in surprise.

Xemnas: "Who are you? When did we let you into the organization?"

Saix sighs before Xemnas can continue.

Saix: "Number six–"

Xemnas: "Saix! I'm not finished asking number five his question!"

Lexaeus: "I've actually been here ever since the organization was formed. I just choose not to speak much."

Saix: "Number six–"

Xemnas: "Saix! You just interrupted him!"

Saix: "I think he was done, Superior."

Xemnas: "How do you know that?"

Saix: "Never mind. Number six, Zexion?"

Zexion looks up from the large book he is reading.

Zexion: "Saix, I'm sitting right here. You can see me."

Saix: "Well, you need to say that you're here otherwise Xemnas won't go past number six."

Zexion: "I know, Saix. I used to have your job of taking the attendance before we recruited you."

Saix: "Well since you understand my misery, please end it and say 'here.'"

Zexion: "Nah, I just feel like torturing you right now."

Saix: "Zexion–"

Xemnas: "Zexion! Why are you reading?"

Zexion: "Oh, well it's simply because you usually take so long to perform the attendance that I figured I would occupy myself with some quality literature."

Xemnas: "Oh, makes sense."

Saix: "Number–"

Xemnas: "Saix! Zexion hasn't said if he's here yet!"

Saix: "Zexion, please say that you're here."

Zexion: "I'm here."

Saix: "Thank you. Number eight–"

Xemnas: "Saix! What happened to number seven?"

Saix: "Superior, I'm number seven."

Xemnas: "And?"

Saix: "I'm obviously here."

Xemnas: "That doesn't mean you should skip number seven then."

Saix sighs before checking himself off the attendance list.

Saix: "Number seven, Saix, is here."

Xemnas: "You didn't let him say that he is here."

Saix: "I'm here!"

He is beginning to get irritated and Axel, who is sitting near him notices this.

Axel: "Dude, why do you put up with this?"

Saix: "I don't know. But I do."

Xemnas: "Continue."

Saix: "Number eight, Axel?"

Axel: "Why can't Zexion do this? He apparently had this job before you. He's just as competent."

Saix: "I know, but there's something to do with the fact that Xemnas prefers my hair."

Xemnas: "Of course, Saix! Your hair is beautiful! It almost slightly resembles mine! Zexion has emo hair."

Zexion: "Emo hair?"

Xemnas: "Yes. Now where is number eight?"

Axel: "I'm here."

Saix: "Number nine, Demyx?"

Demyx does not hear because he is sleeping in his chair due to the fact that the organization is taking so long to take attendance.

Saix: "Number nine? Demyx?"

Larxene, who is sitting right next to Demyx leans over and kicks him.

Larxene: "Wake up, Waterboy, he's talking to you!"

Demyx shoots up, awake, but confused.

Demyx: "What?"

Saix: "Number nine! Demyx!"

Demyx: "What?...Oh! Yeah! Here!"

Saix: "Demyx, were you sleeping in the meeting again?"

Demyx: "Psh…no."

Larxene: "He was."

Demyx: "Shut up!"

Larxene: "Well, it's true. You were."

Saix: "Anyway…"

Demyx: "Why do you have to be so mean to me?"

Larxene: "Why do you have to be such a jerk?"

Demyx: "I'm not being a jerk!"

Larxene: "Well, you're being annoying!"

Demyx: "Why do I have to sit next to you? I was having a nice nap!"

Saix: "May I continue?"

Larxene: "Xemnas! I have a complaint!"

Marluxia: "Hey! You have to wait until the complaints section of the meeting with everyone else! No early complaints!"

Demyx: "Xemnas! I also have a complaint!"

Marluxia: "And I have about twice as many complaints as both of you, so just shut up and let Saix do the attendance!"

Saix: "Thank you, Marluxia!"

Vexen: "What are you doing thanking him? No one likes Marluxia!"

Marluxia: "No one likes you either."

Vexen: "Respect your elders!"

Larxene: "No one likes anyone here! We all hate each other and it sucks!"

Xemnas: "Silence! Saix, never say thank you to Marluxia again. You know no one likes him. Now continue."

Saix: "Number–"

Axel: "Dude, how are you still sane after all this?"

Saix: "Yet again, I don't know. Possibly the same way Zexion is also still sane."

Axel: "Zexion isn't sane! He's got an evil streak that can be seen a mile away and I know that one day, he's going to use it to unleash an evil terrible tentacled monster of doom on someone."

Zexion: "I'm sitting right here, you know. I can hear your entire conversation."

Axel: "You see? He's evil!"

Luxord: "Oh bloody hell! I haven't been saying anything this whole time because I was sure that something like this wouldn't happen again."

Zexion: "Well, here's a little tip for you: It does. And it always will. That's why I occupy myself with some quality literature."

Saix: "Number ten, Luxord?"

Luxord: "I'm here. By the way, what book are you reading?"

Zexion: "That's for me to know and for you to find out. It's 'War and Peace' by the way."

Luxord: "But you just said that what you're reading is for you to know and me to find–"

Zexion: "I lied."

Axel: "You see? He's evil!"

Saix: "Number eleven, Marluxia?"

Marluxia: "I'm here, and since we're practically almost done with the attendance, I would like to address my complaint."

Xemnas: "No one cares, number eleven. Stop saying words."

Marluxia: "You see that is my point! Your governing over this organization is a bit lax on many of the other members, but very harsh for some, like me!

Xemnas: "Well I don't care."

Vexen: "He doesn't care, number eleven. Respect your elders."

Marluxia: "Stop saying that."

Saix decides to cut in before anyone can say anything else.

Saix: "Number twelve, Larxene?"

Meanwhile, Larxene and Demyx have been arguing with each other on why they shouldn't sit next to each other.

Larxene: "I'm a little bit busy fighting with Waterboy, here. Can we hold for just a minute?"

Demyx: "Stop! Xemnas! Can I move my seat?"

Xemnas: "No complaints until the complaint section of the meeting."

Luxord: "Can we just get on with it then?"

Xaldin: "These meetings are completely pointless and it's all because of you Xigbar. Xigbar?

He looks around and realizes that Xigbar is not in his chair.

Xaldin: "Oh come on! He left again."

Saix: "Larxene!"

Larxene: "Okay, fine. I'm here."

Xemnas: "Everyone shut up! We have now completed the attendance list and the meeting is now in session!"

Luxord: "Finally!"

Xemnas: "And now, before we move on to the complaints section–"

Marluxia: "What? We have to wait even more?"

Xemnas: "Do not interrupt me. Saix! Tell Marluxia not to interrupt me!"

Saix: "Marluxia please don't interrupt him. It will make our lives so much easier."

Xemnas: "Well anyway, I want you to know that we are going to change our organization's name from The Evil Heartless Heart Collecting Council Organization of Doom."

Axel: "What? But that's such a kick ass name!"

Demyx: "Yeah! We all worked really hard to think of it!"

Zexion: "Well it was mostly me…"

Xemnas: "Well, too bad, Zexion. You have emo hair."

Larxene: "Do you see what I mean here when I say that everyone hates each other here?"

Xemnas: "Number twelve, complaints are for the complaint section only and this is not the complaints section, as I've previously stated. Well anyway, I also wanted to let you know that we have a new member of the organization joining us today."

Luxord: "A new member?"

Xaldin: "Great. That's exactly what we needed."

Xemnas, for some reason, does not notice everyone's sarcasm whatsoever.

Xemnas: "Exactly! And now you are going to meet him."

Larxene: "Him? Xemnas! I thought we talked this over and agreed that the next member we would recruit would be a girl so I wouldn't be the only female here!"

Xemnas: "Saix, tell her that the complaints are for the complaint section only."

Saix: "Larxene, complaints are–"

Larxene: "I know. I heard him the first four times."

Xemnas: "Well anyway, I want you all to meet Roxas!"

He drags Roxas into the meeting room by the shoulders.

Roxas: "Um…hi."

Xemnas: "Everyone say hello to Roxas!"

For some reason, the organization is not very excited.

Everyone: "Hello Roxas."

Roxas realizes that Xemnas still has his hands on his shoulders.

Roxas: "Um…can you stop touching me, please?"

Marluxia: "You can't ask Xemnas to do anything. He won't listen to you."

Xemnas: "Marluxia! That statement is entirely untrue! My fellow members can ask favors of me whenever they want. That simply just doesn't apply to you because we don't like you."

Larxene: "Can we skip to the complaints section then?"

Xemnas: "No! You can't ask me to do anything!"

Roxas: "But you just said–"

Axel: "Well that's just how things work around here. Welcome to the organization."

Xemnas: "Axel! That is some very courteous behavior towards our new member! I'm going to put you in charge of Roxas so you two can become best friends as a plot advancement and maybe we'll actually have two people here in this organization who don't hate each other!"

Axel: "Um…I was being sarcastic…"

Xemnas: "I don't care. Roxas, meet your new best friend, Axel!"

He pushed Roxas onto Axel's seat.

Roxas: "Um…hi, I guess?

Xemnas: "Alright! Now that Roxas has been initiated, we should discuss the changing of our organization's name."

Demyx: "But why does the name have to change?"

Xemnas: "Because now we have thirteen people and everyone knows that we can't have thirteen people in an organization known as the Evil Heartless Heart Collecting Nobody Council Organization of Doom. It just doesn't fit."

Demyx: "But why?"

Xemnas: "Because I said so. I suggest we change the name to Organization Thirteen because we're an organization and there are thirteen of us."

Larxene: "That's the stupidest name I've ever heard!"

Demyx: "Yeah, there's like no thought going into it!"

Larxene: "It's so bad, it's making me actually agree with Demyx on something!"

Xemnas: "You see? It's working!"

Marluxia: "Why don't we make the name look slightly more menacing by writing the thirteen in Roman numerals?"

Xemnas: "That's such a stupid idea, number eleven. Why don't we make the name slightly more menacing by changing the thirteen into Roman numerals? Let's do that!"

Marluxia: "I hate this. One day, I'm going to start my own organization."

Luxord: "Good luck with that."

Axel: "Yeah, dude, no one likes you."

Roxas: "Why don't we like her?"

Axel: "Because he's a guy."

Roxas: "That's a GUY?

Xemnas: "Well, now that we have a new name for our organization and a new member, I think it's only fair that before we move on to the complaints section, we take attendance again."

Everyone: "NO!"

Xemnas: "Saix?"

He shoots an expectant look at Saix who is just as reluctant to take attendance again as everyone else. As he begins to read off the list, he is twitching slightly, fighting the urge not to go berserk.

Saix: "Number one, Xemnas?"

Xemnas: "I'm here."

Saix: "Number two, Xigbar?"

Xaldin: "Oh, he left."

Vexen: "Again?"

Larxene: "Are you serious?"

Xemnas: "Well, since we're not all here, we can no longer continue the meeting, so Meeting adjourned!"

The entire organization groans as they get ready to leave.

Luxord: "Well that was completely pointless! We didn't get to the complaints section!"

Zexion: "I tell you, quality literature helps."

Demyx: "Can me and Larxene still at least change our seats?"

Xemnas: "No. Didn't you just hear me? Meeting adjourned."

They all exit.

A/N: I got a little tired seeing Organization XII, Organization VI, Organization IX, etc. I mean, it would sort of be annoying and confusing to have to keep changing their name every time they got a new member. Also, I thought it would be funnier if they changed the name when Roxas was initiated, but when Xion was initiated and there's FOURTEEN people, the name doesn't change. Maybe I might put up another chapter when Xion gets initiated or something (I promise it won't be as long and annoying as this one was) but that depends on the reviews and what not. And the reason that Xemnas is so annoying? I don't know, I just see him that way...somewhat. Well, thanks for reading! I'd like to hear what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I got four lovely reviews all saying that I should write another chapter, so I did. Thank you very much for your reviews, they brightened up my day. I hope this chapter will be as good as the first.

Xemnas enters the meeting room again.

Xemnas: "Everyone! Members of the Organization XIII!"

Demyx: "Xemnas, I have a complaint!"

Xemnas: "And I don't care, number nine. Anyway, I have called all of you here for yet another meeting!"

No one is pleased with this.

Xaldin: "Yay. Fun."

Luxord: "Are we meeting again because we didn't get to the complaints section last time, because I'm pretty sure every single one of us has a complaint."

Xemnas: "Nonsense, number ten! Why would anyone have a complaint besides Marluxia?"

Marluxia: "Hey!"

Demyx: "Maybe because I've already said I have a complaint?"

Larxene: "It's about our seat issues. I hate sitting next to Waterboy."

Demyx: "Stop calling me Waterboy!"

Xemnas: "Ah, yes. Your seats. I don't even see why you would want to move anyway. You two get along so well. Anywho, we are not going to address complaints until we get to the important parts of the meeting."

Roxas: "Wait, when do we address complaints?"

Xemnas: "When we have the complaints section of the meeting."

He turns abruptly to Axel.

Xemnas: "Axel! What are you doing not telling number thirteen about things like these?"

Axel: "Er…I was busy, Superior."

Xemnas: "And what on earth would you be busy doing?"

Axel: "The missions you gave me?"

Xemnas: "Well, find some way to incorporate being Roxas' best friend with your work. Besides we need to get on with the meeting. We need to take attendance now. Saix?"

Saix stands up.

Saix: "Yes, Superior. But about the attendance–"

Xemnas: "What about the attendance? It's flawless!"

Saix: "Well, Zexion and I have devised a new system to take attendance and we think it's going to work better than the one that you–"

Xemnas, infuriated that other people are capable of having their own ideas, stands up.

Xemnas: "Saix! You can't come up with these ideas by yourself. You need to consult all the members of the organization. So your agument is invalid and we are not going to use your ridiculous method that you seem to want to use. You see, I am the Superior. I am in charge. And my rules say that there is only one–"

Xigbar: "Two!"

Xaldin: "Three."

Vexen: "Four."

Lexaeus: Five.

Zexion: "Six."

Saix: "Seven."

Axel: "Eight."

Demyx: "Nine."

Luxord: "Ten."

Marluxia: "Eleven."

Larxene: "Twelve."

Roxas: "Thirteen."

Saix: "Okay, we're all here."

He calmly sits down as an awkward silence looms over the room.

Xemnas: "…What the Hell was that?"

Saix: "It's our new attendance method."

Zexion: "It's just an experimentation for this meeting."

Xemnas: "Well, never do it again. You didn't even let me say my own number."

Zexion: "On the contrary, Superior, you did say 'one.'"

Xemnas: "No I didn't."

Zexion: "Yes, you did."

Xemnas: "Number six. I didn't."

Saix: "Yes, you did."

Xemnas abruptly turns to Saix.

Xemnas: "Saix! Why are you agreeing with him?"

Lexaeus: "Superior! You said one and now shut up. I want to get this meeting over with."

He sits down just as Xemnas turns and notices who had spoken out.

Xemnas: "AH! Oh…number five. I keep continuously forgetting that you're a part of this organization, too…so I guess that since we're all here, we can continue the meeting."

Larxene: "Does this mean we can get to the complaints section earlier?"

Xemnas: "Probably not."

Marluxia: "Why?"

Xemnas: "Because the first thing I would like to address is that we're not going to have a complaints section of the meetings anymore."

Everyone: "WHAT?"

The entire organization looks at Xenmas with their jaws dropped.

Xemnas: "I feel that the complaints section is taking up too much time off of our meetings so there's no need for it."

Luxord: "We never even get to the complaints section!"

Roxas: "Wait, why don't you guys ever get to the complaints section?"

Axel: "It's a mystery that will never be solved. But it's mostly because Xigbar keeps leaving the meetings."

Xigbar: "That's cuz I never have anything to complain about!"

Marluxia: "I envy you greatly, Xigbar…"

Roxas: "Well, why don't you just have a suggestion box?"

Axel: "A suggestion box?"

Zexion: "A suggestion box?"

Xaldin: "A suggestion box?"

Larxene: "A suggestion box?"

Xemnas: "Why does everyone keep repeating what everyone else is saying? What is this suggestion box banter?"

Saix: "Superior, that idea doesn't sound that bad…"

Xemnas: "Fellow members of the organization! We are NOT going to have a suggestion box. I have all the authority here and you people don't! So Roxas, NO coming up with new suggestions. Everyone else might agree with you."

Larxene: "So, now you're just trying to get out of addressing our complaints? Because it shouldn't be too hard to just move me and Demyx's seats."

Marluxia: "But, Superior, as I have addressed in many previous meetings I have a rather long list of complaints that will need to be brought to your attention considering–"

Xemnas: "Yes, the Marluxia issue. I was just about to address that."

Marluxia: "Really?"

Xemnas: "Yes. You're not going to be staying in our castle anymore due to your massive amount of complaints."

Marluxia thinks about what this means.

Marluxia: "…Wait, so you're kicking me out?"

Vexen on the other hand has perked up considerably.

Vexen: "You're finally kicking him out?"

Xemnas: "Yes. I mean, no! I can't just kick someone out of an organization called Organization XIII. Then there won't be thirteen people and the name wouldn't make any sense. We're just moving you over to Castle Oblivion."

Marluxia: "By myself?"

Vexen: "By himself? Oh the joys!"

Xemnas: "Well, unless you'd like to take someone with you, yes. By yourself. And you will run the castle. It's yours."

Marluxia: "Mine? All mine?"

Xemnas: "Yes."

A smile spreads across Marluxia's face.

Vexen: "Yes! Wait – What? Why on earth would you entrust HIM to his own castle? It's preposterous! We can't trust him!"

Xemnas: "Well how else would you get him to leave us alone?"

Vexen: "By kicking him out!"

Marluxia: "Well, since you all seem really anxious to get rid of me, I will go. And I'll have Castle Oblivion all to myself."

He shoots Vexen a very smug look.

Larxene: "Now, can we get my seat moved?"

Xemnas: "Okay, this whole seat issue between you and Waterboy, I mean, number nine, is getting really annoying."

Demyx: "Then move us!"

Xemnas: "Alright fine. Larxene you switch with…er…Xaldin. And…um…Demyx, you switch with…Xigbar."

Larxene and Xaldin switch seats and Demyx and Xigbar switch seats. After everyone seems settled, Larxene and Demyx, now relieved turn their heads to notice…

Larxene: "What the hell? We're still sitting next to each other!"

Xemnas is now getting increasingly bored with this argument and is running out of ways to solve this.

Xemnas: "Okay fine! If you don't want to sit next to number nine, Larxene, you sit next to number eleven in Castle Oblivion!"

Larxene: "Oh. Okay. Fine by me."

Demyx: "YES!"

He does a small victory dance.

Luxord: "Well what do you know. We're actually getting something done in these meetings."

Vexen: "Wait, you're putting those two alone in their own castle? Doesn't that sound like an opportunity for them to overthrow us?"

Xemnas: "Oh, Vexen. What are the odds of those two ever coming up with a scheme to overthrow me?"

Zexion: "Actually, that sounds rather plausible."

Xemnas: "Stop using large words, Zexion. Now before I send numbers eleven and twelve to go packing off for Castle Oblivion, I would like to address the matter of us initiating a new member into our organization!"

Xaldin: "Another one? But we just got a thirteenth member!"

Axel: "You're not going to thrust this one on me, too, are you?"

Xemnas: "No. Actually I wasn't, but since you sound so enthusiastic about it, I'll put you in charge of our new member as well."

Axel: "Again, I was being sarcastic!"

Roxas: "I don't think he's ever going to notice."

At this, Axel slumps in his chair and sighs.

Axel: "Ugh… I'd rather go to Castle Oblivion with Marluxia and Larxene than have to deal with this."

Xemnas: "Alright then, Axel! You can go to Castle Oblivion with numbers eleven and twelve."

Suddenly Axel scrambles up in his chair to protest.

Axel: "No! I didn't really mean that! I was just–"

Roxas: "Looks like you're screwed."

Axel: "Oh, shut up."

Saix leans over towards Axel and whispers.

Saix: "Don't worry, Axel. If you somehow help me get out of my position of having to be the one person who's got to listen to crazy Xemnas, I'll help you get out of all this."

Axel: "Okay. It's a deal."

They shake on it discreetly.

Xemnas: "No whispering in my meeting session! I now bring you, number fourteen, Xion!"

Larxene: "Is Xion another boy, because I swear–"

Xemnas: "And yes, Larxene, I have attended to your ridiculous feminist needs of having another girl in this organization. Xion is of the female gender."

Xion enters the room with her hood hiding her face. Larxene is surprised that Xemnas has actually listened to her for a change.

Larxene: "Oh. Wow, this meeting's actually turning out pretty good in my favor."

Luxord: "So I guess now we have to change the name to Organization XIV?"

Xemnas: "Of course not. Why on earth would we do that?"

Demyx: "You mean we're going back to being called the Evil Heartless Heart Collecting Nobody Council Organiztion of Doom?"

Xemnas: "Number nine! For the last time, that name does not apply to an organization with fourteen people."

Xaldin: "So do tell me, what are we going to be called?"

Xemnas: "What a stupid question! We're still going to be called Organization XIII."

Demyx: "Wait…so…we're called Organization XIII when we have fourteen people?"

Xemnas: "Yes."

The room is silent as everyone tries to understand until Zexion clears his throat.

Zexion: "What I think the question is, more explicitly stated, is that why are we called Organization XIII if we don't have thirteen people?"

Xemnas: "Because we're not counting Marluxia–"

Marluxia: "What?"

Xemnas: "I mean, of course we're counting Marluxia. I'm just saying that Thirteen is a much more interesting number than fourteen."

Larxene: "Wow, whichever way you look at it, the name still sounds dumb."

Demyx: "I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Larxene."

Xemnas: "So now that we have fourteen people, we should–"

Saix: "Take attendance again?"

Xemnas: "Don't cut me off, Saix. We will be taking attendance again. In the regular way!"

Xaldin: "Um, excuse me, Superior, but Xigbar left when you said that Larxene was going off to Castle Oblivion."

Xemnas: "Oh, so meeting adjourned then. Number eight, twelve, and eleven, start getting your bags together to go off to Castle Oblivion."

Everyone gers off their chairs and starts to leave.

Marluxia: "Finally! I get the respect that I deserve! Larxene, I think that with this position of great power, we would be able to take over the organization."

Larxene: "It sounds kind of stupid that we would take over the organization in a way that Xemnas would obviously suspect us, but I'm bored, so I guess I'll just go along."

Marluxia: "Great! Axel, let's go!"

Axel: "Kill me now."

He is pulled off by Marluxia. Meanwhile, Vexen has run up to Xemnas to explain some important matters.

Vexen: "Excuse me, Superior, but I'm concerned about the safety of our organization. Marluxia would probably take over the organization if you send him to Castle Oblivion. As Zexion said earlier, the odds of them trying to take over are high."

Xemnas rolls his eyes and groans after having not listened to Vexen.

Xemnas: "Why does everyone keep bothering me? Bother Saix instead!"

Vexen: "But the entire organization is at stake! At least let me foil Marluxia's plans myself."

Xemnas: "You want to go to Castle Oblivion, too? Fine then. Go. And take number five with you. He scares me when I remember that he's in this organization."

Vexen: "Done. And another condition."

Xemnas: "Fine. Last thing."

Vexen: "I take Zexion, too."

Saix, upon hearing this conversation decides to jump in.

Saix: "Wait! No. You can't take Zexion. He's the only one who shares my job–"

No one seems to hear him.

Xemnas: "Okay, fine. I'll be glad not to look at Zexion's emo hair."

Zexion: "Why do you insist on calling it emo hair?"

Xemnas: "Because it is. Now I'm going upstairs to go and talk to a giant heart-shaped moon. Nobody bother me. Except Saix. You have to come and talk to the heart-shaped moon with me."

Saix: "Fun."

He starts to walk off as if he is following Xemnas, but then quickly runs back to find Axel.

Saix: "Axel!"

Axel: "Hm?"

Saix: "They're taking Zexion to Castle Oblivion!"

Axel: "Oh come on! Now I have to deal with the evil one, too?"

Saix: "You need to do something about this! I can't be the only one here who has to take the attendance stuff!"

Axel: "Do something about Zexion. Got it."

Saix runs off as the rest of the organization leaves the meeting room. Only Roxas and Xion are left.

Roxas: "So…you're the other new member of the organization?"

Xion: "…I have no face."

Roxas: "What the fu–?"

A/N: Oooh...plot development is ensuing! Dun dun dun...

And it's okay, Marluxia. I like you!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey! I've decided to update since I got some more reviews that made me very happy. Thank you very much to all the people who reviewed, you guys are great! This past week I have been cooped up in my room studying for exams and I told myself that that was what I was going to be doing until my friends took me to an anime convention (I cosplayed Matt from Death Note cuz you can't hate on Matt. There's nothing to hate!) ad I got so filled with anime goodness (and having met some very nice Axel and Roxas cosplayers) that I decided to sit down and write another chapter of this. So...enjoy.

_In the Castle that Never Was…_

Xemnas and the rest of the organization who is not at Castle Oblivion sit down in their meeting room that now has six empty seats.

Xemnas: "Alright, everyone! We're going to have another one of our daily meetings and it should be much easier now that we don't have a lot of people amongst our ranks anymore."

Demyx: "Are they going to come back ever?"

Xemnas: "I don't know and I don't care. You people all look the same with your coats, I can never tell you apart. Why do we even wear these coats anyway?"

Xaldin: "Well, we wear them so we can all tell that we're in this organization and other people aren't."

Xemnas: "That's such a stupid reason."

Saix: "But you came up with it, Superior."

Xemnas: "Oh."

That's a suitable reason.

Xemnas: "Then let's take attendance, shall we?"

Saix stands up, sighing.

Saix: "Alright, number one–"

Xemnas: "I am here, Saix and I think that we should have little titles or nicknames that we're going to have to say during attendance so it will be longer."

Saix: "And why, may I ask, does attendance have to be longer?"

Xemnas: "Because I said so."

Xigbar sits up abrupty in his seat raising his hand.

Xigbar: "I call being the Freeshooter!"

Xemnas: "Xigbar! You can not just call to have your own title. I have to make it up, myself."

Luxord: "Well, that's lovely."

Xemnas: "Tomorrow, I will have assigned titles for all thirteen of you."

Xaldin: "Well I don't know if you've noticed, Superior, but there's _fourteen_ of us and six of us are at Castle Oblivion."

Xemnas: "Well, I just feel like giving titles to the people at Castle Oblivion and Xion won't get a title."

Xion: "I-I won't?"

Roxas: "Hey! How come she doesn't get one?"

Xemnas: "Because Xion isn't a _real_ member of Organization XIII."

Xion: "I'm not?"

Xemnas: "Well obviously. We're called Organization XIII not Organization XIV."

Xigbar: "Wait, I thought we were counting Xion and not Marluxia."

Xaldin: "How did you know about that? You weren't even at that meeting."

Xigbar: "I know stuff."

Demyx: "Wait…so if we're not counting Marluxia or Xion, doesn't that make us Organization XII?"

Roxas: "I'm confused."

Xemnas: "Everyone! Shut up! Stop making it more complicated than it already is. And Roxas. You shouldn't be confused. Axel is supposed to be there to fill you in on stuff like this."

Luxord: "Axel is at Castle Oblivion. You can't blame him."

Xemnas: "And who on earth sent Axel to Castle Oblivion?"

Saix: "You did, Superior."

Xemnas: "Oh.

Another suitable reason

Xemnas: "Well then, we'll just have Vexen create some sort of Axel clone for Roxas."

Demyx: "But Vexen's at Castle Oblivion, too."

Xemnas: "Shut up, Marluxia. No complaints until the nonexistent complaint section."

Demyx: "I'm DEMYX!"

Roxas: "Yeah, Marluxia's also at Castle Oblivion."

Xemnas: "This is ridiculous! You see, Saix! THIS is why we need attendance! Come up here and take it. Or is Saix at Castle Oblivion as well?"

Saix is already standing having not moved from the point before in which he was originally supposed to take attendance.

Saix: "I'm actually here, Superior."

Xemnas is not listening and is continuing to ramble on.

Xemnas: "I should never have sent so many people to Castle Oblivion. Now I have to have Zexion with his emo hair take attendance instead."

Saix: "Superior! I am here! Zexion is the one at Castle Oblivion!"

He tries to make himself known by waving his arms up and down consequently throwing the attendance papers in the air. For some reason, Xemnas doesn't even see it.

Xemnas: "So?"

Luxord: "Wow…after all this time we thought attendance was useless…"

_Meanwhile in Castle Oblivion _

Marluxia, Axel, and Larxene are all gathered around in a miniture meeting hall of their own.

Marluxia: "Okay! We're all here."

Larxene: "So why are we here in this…

She starts looking around.

Larxene: "Very, small…boring meeting room that looks suspiciously like our meeting room in the Castle that Never Was…?"

Marluxia: "I want to discuss with the two of you our plans for taking over the organization."

Axel has been eating an apple nonchalantly until he hears this and accidentally spits out some of his chewed up apple.

Axel: "Wait, we're doing WHAT?"

Marluxia: "We're taking over the organization. Didn't you just hear me?"

He says this glaring at Axel's apple bits on the floor.

Axel: "Yes, but it was a rhetorical question. I didn't know we were–"

Marluxia: "Well now you do. And we're going to use the most elaborate plan possible involving giant keys and Disney characters that's so confusing that we can't even talk about it in this meeting hall because the people who might possibly be watching or reading what we are saying will be too confused to comprehend us and their minds will explode due to the insane amount of confusing plot devices that we are going to use in our confusing plan."

Larxene: "Okay, about the part with people watching or reading us…"

Marluxia: "Do NOT question my judgment. It could happen…somehow."

He shoots a suspicious glance around the room.

Larxene: "Okay, a little creepy…"

Axel: "Wait, so when are you going to explain to us this really confusing plan?"

Marluxia: "After I make sure you aren't some double agent for the Organization that's going to make sure I don't take over."

Axel: "I'm not. I didn't even want to come–"

Marluxia: "And you must be tested with the EVIL RING OF FLAMING FIREY FLAMES OF FLAMING DOOM!"

The evil ring of flaming firey flames of flaming doom bursts out of nowhere in the form of a firey carnivorous plant breathing fire all around the room charring the bits of apple on the floor and part of Larxene's hair.

Axel: "…Dude, my element is fire."

Marluxia: "Oh. Okay, then. I guess you're not a double agent."

He motions so the evil ring of flaming firey flames of flaming doom disappear as randomly as they had come.

Larxene: "Great process of deduction, there, Marluxia."

She puts out the tiny little flame on her hair.

Larxene: "So when are we going to start working on our extremely confusing plan?"

Marluxia: "Well, we're going to redecorate this castle first. The walls are a DREADFULLY dull color and I want this wall pink and this wall green and…anyway, we'll get to that later. Then we're going to drag in Namine who's this random girl nobody who isn't in the organization and we're going to somehow involve her in our elaborate scheme."

Axel: "Yeah…why isn't she in the Organization, again?"

Larxene: "Because the Organization doesn't like her."

Axel: "But the Organization doesn't like Marluxia but_ he_ somehow made it in."

Marluxia: "Well, I LIKE ME so everyone just shut up. And if you aren't a double agent, Axel, you might as well do me a favor and kill Vexen for me. I think he's hiding in the basement trying to plot against me."

_In the basements of Castle Oblivion…_

Vexen, Zexion, and Lexaeus enter a very dimly lit and dusty basement, Zexion looking around disapprovingly.

Zexion: "Remind me again why we're in the basement, Vexen?"

Vexen: "Because I am smart and smart people know not to be in view of the people you are plotting against. That way the people you are plotting against will see you and they will know we are plotting against them."

Zexion: "It's dirty down here."

He rubs a finger along a piece of furniture and sneers in disgust at the dust he has collected.

Vexen: "Well, get used to it. Now, the three of us are going to plot against Marluxia because he is obviously trying to take over the organization."

Zexion sighs.

Zexion: "I know, Vexen."

Vexen: "And why would you know that?"

Zexion: "Well, I don't know. Maybe it's because you've been saying, 'Let's go to the basement to plot against Marluxia,' about fifteen times today."

Lexaeus: "As we were going down the stairs to the basement."

Zexion: "And might I add, why the basement? Won't Marluxia need something down here? Why can't we just stay in the remote towers that we know he won't use."

Vexen: "You people just don't understand my train of thought. Why would Marluxia come down here? There's nothing down here."

Zexion: "Except the giant presentation pad that reads, 'The Pad to Write Evil Takeover Plans On.'"

He points to said pad.

Vexen: "Oh, he's not going to use that. Now everyone listen to me. Since Marluxia is most likely to use a super elaborate scheme that's too elaborate to describe, we should come up with an equally elaborate scheme to counter it!"

Zexion: "But if it's equally elaborate, then won't we end up equally matched?"

Vexen: "Look, Zexion. If you have any better scheme, say it now."

Zexion: "Well, I think that we should–"

Vexen: "Never mind. My scheme is better. I am older and therefore smarter than you."

Zexion: "I am the Organization's tactician. I'm the one who makes the schemes for the organization in general!"

Vexen: "Well I'm number four and you're only number six. Your argument is invalid!"

Lexaeus: "May I say something?"

Vexen: "No. Now everyone stop arguing and we will make sure that Marluxia does not take over the organization!"

Zexion: "Can we at least clean up the dust in here so we don't breathe it in?"

Vexen: "For the last time, Zexion, I am going to explain to you our elaborate plan."

Zexion: "But I'm allergic to dust!"

Vexen: "And I'm allergic to people who don't listen to their elders! Now shut up and sit down and we're going to solve this once and for all!"

_Back in the Castle that Never Was_

Roxas and Xion are alone in the castle and are awkwardly sitting next to each other. Roxas is trying to figure out what to say.

Roxas: "So…Xion. You've finally started talking to us."

Xion: "He…he said I wasn't a real member…"

She starts to cry.

Roxas: "Oh…um…it's okay...er…please don't cry. I don't know what I'm supposed to do when you cry."

He really doesn't.

Xion: "I can't help it, Roxas. I'm just so sad, I'm having an identity crisis."

She starts crying harder.

Roxas: "Well…um, do you want some ice cream?"

Xion: "NO ROXAS, I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME!"

Roxas: "But I thought you didn't have a face."

Xion: "I do TOO have a face!"

She rips off her hood to a very confused Roxas and runs out crying.

Xion: "Everyone hates me…"

Roxas is left alone, trying to figure out what on earth he was supposed to have said. Eventually he shrugs it off.

Roxas: "This organization is weird. I'm going to get some more ice cream."

A/N: So...here is yet another chapter. You know, the title for this story doesn't really seem to fit...A Day in the Life, since it's more than one day in their life. I don't know...because the way I see it, this story seems to be going in the direction of explaining Kingdom Hearts through meetings of the organization. It helps me, since I don't really understand the series that much myself which is why I love it so much! So, if you readers still want me to keep writing, my school year will be over in just a matter of days so I'll be able to write anytime. Just say the word. And a big thank you again to all my reviewers. It makes me feel SO HAPPY when I come home from a big day of exams and I see someone telling me my writing is funny. So good day to all of you and thanks for reading the author's notes.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So, in the last chapter, I said that I'd write more soon. Truth is, I'm a fat liar because I had super writers block and I had no idea that AP Language and Composition was going to give me six books to read plus five essays to read and write essays on. So that's pretty much absorbed my summer writing, not to mention I've been withheld from the internet for a while. But this chapter is up, and I thank everyone once again for their lovely reviews. By the way, this chapter has super mild spoilers, but if you're reading this, you probably won't have had anything spoiled anyway.

The organization members who are not at Castle Oblivion run into the meeting hall excitedly murmuring amongst themselves.

Xemnas: "Everyone! I have called forth this emergency meeting to suppress the rumors that have been going around."

Demyx: "Rumors? What rumors?"

Luxord: "You know, the rumor that someone at Castle Oblivion has been terminated?"

Demyx: "Oh that. Wait, that's JUST a rumor?"

Saix sighs.

Saix: "Yes, Demyx."

Demyx: "Come on. You can't just crush my hopes and dreams that Larxene will never be coming back to punch me in the face every morning and kick me when I'm down and break my stuff and basically just make my life miserable every day!"

Xemnas: "Number IX, it's my job to crush hopes and dreams. That's why I'm the main antagonist of this plot. Number XII is not the one who has been terminated."

Xigbar stands up in his chair.

Xigbar: "Okay, dudes! Let's take a bet on who died! I'll bet it was Marluxia."

Xemnas: "Number II! That is completely disrespectful conduct so say such a thing."

Everyone completely ignores Xemnas as Luxord becomes more interested.

Luxord: "Oh, you want to gamble, eh? Well I'll have you know that I disagree with your guess and I'll bet it was Vexen."

Xigbar: "You're on. Anyone else?"

Xemnas: "Silence! This is not a topic that we should be discussing jovially."

Demyx: "Especially when we know that Larxene might be coming back-"

Xemnas: "Number IX if you do not shut up right now, I will send you to Castle Oblivion so you can spend every day with your good friend Number XII. Do you understand!"

Demyx: "…Yes…"

He sinks back in his chair.

Xemnas: "Thank you."

Xaldin: "I'll bet it was Lexaeus."

Xemnas violently whips his head around towards Xaldin.

Xemnas: "Did you not just hear me? I said don't say anything!"

Luxord: "Well, are you going to tell us who died?"

Xemnas: "Well, I have not yet told you whether this rumor is true or not. And Xaldin, who is Lexaeus? And why are you suggesting he might have died?"

Saix: "Um, Superior, Lexaeus is number five in our organization. You tend to skip over him."

Xemnas: "Oh. Well, I assure you, he is not the one who was terminated."

Xaldin: "Damn."

Xigbar: "Ha! You're out of the bet!"

Xaldin: "Fine then. I change my guess to Axel."

Xemnas: "Axel! That reminds me. Roxas?"

Roxas has meanwhile not been paying attention to any of this but has instead been finger mashing on his Nintendo DS playing a game that looks suspiciously similar to 358/2 Days. Upon hearing his name, he looks up.

Roxas: "Huh? Yeah?"

Xemnas: "Don't you have anything to say on this topic?"

Roxas: "Oh…uh…"

Demyx leans over to whisper to Roxas.

Demyx: "Ask him why Larxene-"

Xemnas: "Number IX I can hear you and I know what you're going to say. The reason why Larxene didn't die first is because she is a female and if she were to be the first one dead that would make it seem as if we are trying to state that females are weak and we would be accused of sexism due to the fact that we had our sole female member of the organization killed off before any of our male members."

Xion: "Um…excuse me, but _sole_ female member?"

Xemnas: "Yes. Why are you repeating what I just said?"

Xion: "But aren't I the other female member?"

Xemnas: "Oh yeah. You… Well you're not _really_ female."

Xion: "I'm not? What's that supposed to mean?"

Xemnas: "It's complicated and you wouldn't understand. Roxas might know, though."

Roxas: "I would?"

Xemnas: "Yes! Roxas, you should be more considerate towards your best friend!"

Roxas: "Oh…okay. But isn't Axel supposed to be my best friend?"

Xemnas: "Yes, but he could have possibly been killed in this conspiracy going on involving Castle Oblivion."

He seems to be hinting at something, but Roxas is still confused at what Xemnas is trying to get at.

Xaldin: "Take that! That's hinting I win the bet."

Luxord: "He said _possibly_. That's no excuse for you to have won just yet."

Xigbar: "Guys just wait for it. He's gonna drop the bomb that it was Marluxia any second now."

Xaldin: "Well, face it, Xigbar; if it were Marluxia, Xemnas wouldn't have made a big deal about it."

Luxord: "More like no deal at all."

Xigbar: "Whoa, you guys are turning on me now? Uncool, dudes. Uncool. Besides, Xemnas doesn't care about any of us, except maybe Saix. It's a miracle that he's actually making any deal at all about someone dying because we all know Saix is still alive. Unless…"

He turns to Saix.

Xigbar: "Saix, are you alive?"

Saix looks at him with a face of exhaustion and annoyance.

Saix: "No, Xigbar, I'm a zombie nobody ghost who's here to haunt you until you all destroy yourselves due to insanity."

Xigbar: "Well, geez, Saix. Sarcastic much?"

Xemnas: "Well, since at this point you'll all be wondering who was terminated in the incident at Castle Oblivion, we'll take attendance so you can all use process of elimination to figure out who it was. Saix?"

Everyone, except Saix, is too busy to care.

Saix: "Ugh…Sometimes I wonder why this organization hasn't already destroyed itself due to insanity."

In Castle Oblivion...

Marluxia: "Alright! Our plan is going smoothly and perfectly."

Larxene: "Are you meaning to say that Vexen constantly jumping in and interrupting basically everything we've been saying equals going perfectly?"

Marluxia: "Okay, maybe the Vexen part was a little annoying, but we don't have to worry about him anymore now. I think we should have another celebration."

He pulls on a string as a weak shower of balloons and streamers fall from the ceiling. With the amount of enthusiasm that's being given out, one can tell this has been done before.

Axel: "Yay."

Larxene: "That's starting to become annoying."

Marluxia: "Yes, I'm steering off topic. Now back to our plan. We're going to lure Sora in here so we can steal his Keyblade so we can take over the organization."

Axel: "I'm still confused. Why do we need a Keyblade to take over the organization?"

Marluxia: "I guess I'm going to have to spell things out for you. A Keyblade is a…"

Axel: "Sword?"

Marluxia: "That looks like a…"

Axel: "Key?"

Marluxia: "And what do keys do?"

Axel: "Keys…unlock things?"

Marluxia: "Exactly!"

Larxene: "Wait. I thought we were going to use the power of the Keyblade to wipe out the powerful members of the organization by using it as a deadly weapon, not as a key that just unlocks things."

Marluxia: "Oh, Larxene. What kind of ridiculous idea is that? They'd be expecting that! What we're going to do is find this key to open the doors to victory!"

Larxene: "The doors to victory?"

Marluxia nods, happily.

Larxene: "Aren't those figurative?"

Marluxia: "They are not! They're real! I've seen many people walk through them, but they always slam shut whenever I get close."

He sighs as he stares off into the distance.

Marluxia: "Anyway, enough about that, we'll use Namine to lure Sora up here. Where is she?"

Larxene: "Oh, her? She's acting like a shy, little, innocent girl in the corner."

She points to Namine who is drawing in her sketchbook.

Marluxia: "Namine! Get over here! We're discussing your role in our plan."

Namine: "No. I won't come over there. You've kidnapped me!"

Marluxia: "Namine, for the last time, I did not kidnap you. You just followed the trail of crayons to our castle and if you had read the messages on said crayons you would have known that following the crayon trail was agreeing to our scheme so just come over here."

Namine: "Never! You're the evil people in this story! I'm the heroine's nobody!"

Larxene: "We know! You've been using that as a lame excuse for everything since you've come here."

Marluxia stands up, walks over to Namine, and lifts up her chair with her still sitting on it and brings her over to the center in which they are meeting.

Marluxia: "Okay, now that you're here, Namine, we're going to use your memory powers to make Sora believe that- Are you even listening to me?"

Namine has just been drawing in her sketchbook and not paying attention.

Namine: "Marluxia, nobody listens to you."

Marluxia: "That's not true! Larxene listens to me…sometimes. But anyway, if you don't pay attention to this plan, I will-"

Larxene: "Why don't you just take her sketchbook away?"

She performs said action.

Marluxia: "An excellent idea, Larxene. Now as I was saying-"

Namine: "By the way, Larxene, you might want to look through there. I've got some great pictures drawn of you."

A sly smile creeps across her face.

Larxene: "What? What's that supposed to mean- OH MY GOD!"

Axel suddenly becomes interested and leans over.

Axel: "What is it?"

Larxene: "Why am I holding hands with Demyx in this picture?"

Namine: "Why are you protesting? Covering up a crush?"

Larxene: "Wha- No! No way!"

Namine: "You are."

Larxene: "Now you listen to me. Why the fu-"

Marluxia: "Larxene! We're still in the middle of the meeting, which I haven't gotten to explain yet."

Axel: "Come on, if you're only holding hands in that picture, how bad can it be?"

Larxene: "Oh, you have no idea."

Namine: "Why do you keep mentioning it?"

Larxene: "To clear the air! I don't like Demyx!"

Namine: "If you really didn't like him, you wouldn't need to clear the air."

Marluxia: "Everyone! Stop talking now!"

Larxene: "You see! This is why you're not a part of the organization!"

Namine: "Why would I want to be? You're the bad guys. I'm the heroine's nobody."

Larxene: "Thank you, for bringing that up again for the billionth time."

Marluxia: "Girls! Shut up! We have an evil plan to organize."

Namine: " Yes. We should bring Demyx into it."

Larxene: "No we shouldn't! Just let it go!"

Marluxia: "Yes! Just let it go! Both of you!"

Namine: "Shut up, Marluxia."

Marluxia: "Why are you telling me to shut up? I'm the one in charge here!"

Axel: "This is boring. I'm going downstairs."

He gets up and leaves. No one notices.

Larxene: "You know what? I can't work with you."

Namine: "That's fine with me. Go back to your little Demyx."

Larxene: "Okay, that's it!"

She gets up and starts chasing Namine around the room leaving Marluxia sitting alone with a defeated look on his face.

Marluxia: "We're all going to blow up and die. I know it. Girls break it up, please!"

He runs after them.

In the basements of Castle Oblivion…

Zexion and Lexaeus have become bored standing around in a dimly lit room doing absolutely nothing so they have begun playing charades.

Lexaeus is standing stiffly straight.

Zexion: "Um…you're a tree?"

Lexaeus makes a "so-so" wave of his hand.

Zexion: "A tree branch? A tree trunk?"

Lexaeus shakes his head no.

Zexion: "You're a log?"

Axel walks in.

Zexion: "Oh, hey, Axel."

Axel: "Hey, Zexion. Hey, Lex. Wassup?"

Zexion: "Wait, a second, where did you come from?"

Axel: "Oh, I got bored from listening to everyone fight upstairs so I came down here. I've decided to join your side now."

Zexion: "Oh…that's a legitimate reason. But how did you know we were hiding down here?"

Axel: "Well, Vexen made a lot of noise so we all just assumed…"

Zexion: "Yes, I get what you're saying."

Axel: "Oh yeah, sorry about him, by the way."

Zexion: "Oh don't worry about it. Nobodies don't die. They disapparate from the World that Never Was to the World that Might Quite Probably Be."

Axel: "Hm…the World that Might Quite Probably Be…It sounds a little better than the World that Never Was."

Zexion: "Well, not exactly. You see, in the World that Never Was, it means that everything never was in the past but is now, even though we don't actually exist in the real world, but we are actually existent. In the World that Might Quite Probably Be, we don't know if we ever were or if we are, because we only might be, which gives us the chance of us not being which means we don't exist or never have considering we don't know if we actually are or if anything around us actually is so we are left in a state of perpetual confusion on whether we are or whether we are not."

There is a long, long awkward pause as Axel tries to process what Zexion has just said.

Axel: "…Okay, you just made my brain explode. I'm going back upstairs."

He leaves.

Zexion: "I thought it was a very simple explanation. Back to charades, shall we?"

Lexaeus nods then goes back to standing up stiff.

Zexion: "Okay…you have something to do with a tree…you're a block of wood?"

Lexaeus shakes his head.

Zexion: "Oh, I get it. You're that presentation pad over there!"

Lexaeus shakes his head no, confused.

Zexion: "Paper is made from trees. Okay, I give up. What are you?"

Lexaeus: "I'm a stapler."

Zexion: "How the hell does that have anything to do with a tree or what you were doing?"

Lexaeus: "I was a broken stapler."

Zexion: "I still don't get it."

Lexaeus: "Me neither."

Zexion: "Then why were you–?"

He changes his mind mid-sentence.

Zexion: "This game is stupid. Let's go back to doing nothing."

In the World that Might Quite Probably Be...

Vexen: "Oh fiddlesticks."

A/N: Last chapter I was thinking about changing the name, but the name's been growing on me. I'm probably gonna change the summary, however. So, leave a review, tell me how you liked it. I'm going to stick to the basic plot of the story, except I'm going to have a lot more happen in the World that Might Quite Probably Be in further chapters. So if anyone caught the slight Harry Potter and the slight Pirates of the Caribbean references, virtual cookies to you. Also, a little story about that incident with Larxene and Demyx: Back in the day when me and a friend of mine would RP Kingdom Hearts (I was usually Demyx) we decided that nothing would anger Larxene more if someone accused her of liking Demyx. So, I'll try to find time between my AP essays and what not to write more. Live long and prosper.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'M BACK! I'd like to say that I wasn't writing because of my AP essays, but that wasn't the case. What really happened was I was hit by the inspiration to another story (which won't be posted here because it's original fiction, but you're free to ask about it. I like to talk about that kind of stuff). Then I realized, OMIGOD I ONCE WROTE A KINGDOM HEARTS FANFIC AND NEVER FINISHED! And trust me, I once read an absolutely hysterical piece of writing on here but the author stopped writing it forever and I was left to have to create the ending in my head (TORTURE). And since a lot of my reviews say "write more, spiderzrmahfriendz! Write more!" I don't want you guys to go through the same thing (unless you want to, in which case you don't have to read this story anymore.) I would also like to point out that I had made a horrendous error in my last 4 chapters. The so called "organization meeting room" that's been mentioned is actually called the ROUND Room. SORRY! Also, on the subject of the World that Might Quite Probably Be–

Vexen: "Excuse me!"

Spiderzrmahfriendz: "Uh…yeah?"

Vexen: "I don't believe that you included me enough in your last chapter! I demand that in this one, I get more appearances!"

Spiderzrmahfriendz: "Well, I did conclude the last chapter with your line, but none of my reviewers request that you– wait. How are you talking to me?"

Vexen: "I'm in the World that Might Quite Probably Be! That means that I might be on your side of the fourth wall."

Spiderzrmahfriendz: "That's impossible. My side of the fourth wall is in the World that Really Actually is, a completely different world from the World that Might Quite Probably Be. Therefore, this conversation is nonexistant."

Vexen: "Oh. Well, then pray tell who I am talking to?"

Spiderzrmahfriendz: "Uhhhh…"

The author mystically poofs away in a cloud of smoke returning to the World that Really Actually Is.

Vexen: "Wait! You haven't answered my question! You can't just leave a conversation that rudely! Respect your elders!"

Larxene suddenly poofs in, in a cloud of smoke.

Larxene: "Oh balls."

Vexen: "And what are you doing here now?"

Larxene: "Why do you _think_ I'm here?"

Vexen: "I don't have time for your ridiculous sarcasm! I've just had an extremely confusing conversation with the author!"

Larxene: "It was not sarcasm, it was skepticism."

Suddenly Lexaeus poofs in with a cloud of smoke. The same action is repeated by Marluxia.

Larxene: "And secondly, I think things are going to get way more confusing from here on out."

Zexion poofs in.

_Meanwhile in the World that Never Was…_

Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Saix, Demyx, Luxord, Roxas, and Xion are all seated in the Round Room.

Xigbar: "Yo guys! Have you heard the news about Castle Oblivion?"

Demyx: "News? What news?"

Xemnas: "Shut up, Xigbar. There is no news unless I say that there is. In other news, I'd like to adress a rather large scale issue regarding Castle Oblivion."

Xaldin: "Something has happened at Castle Oblivion?"

Demyx: "Does it involve Larxene?"

Xemnas: "No. Instead, I have heard news that everyone at Castle Oblivion has been terminated."

Saix: "Wait. Did you just say everyone? That's including Zexion?"

Xemnas: "Yes, Saix. Everyone. Except Namine, but she's not important at this point in the story."

Demyx: "So it does involve Larxene!"

Xemnas: "Don't interrupt me Number IX. I never said otherwise. Anyway, back to you, Saix. You're in luck because this whole incident has turned out in your favor. Now you don't have to share jobs with that short, emo-haired Nobody. Isn't that wonderful?"

Saix: "Uhh…"

_Saix's inner mind theater:_

Berserker Saix: "GRAAAAAAAHHHHHH! KINGDOM HEARTS IS A LIE! There is no hope in this world for me. Whoever did this shall suffer my ETERNAL WRATH and a face full of Claymore and I will not rest until the gods of Disney/Square Enix cause Xemnas and whoever is responsible for my misery to perish horrifically!"

_Back to the meeting:_

Saix: "That's fine."

Demyx: "Wait. I'm just soaking all this in. If Larxene was at Castle Oblivion and everyone at Castle Oblivion is terminated, then that means…"

Xion: "I'm the only girl in this organization. How depressing."

Demyx: "Depressing? Oh ho ho, Xion, I beg to differ. All my hopes and dreams have just come true. I feel so happy!"

He stands up in his chair.

Luxord: "Well, Demyx. You seem to be having extremely violent thoughts. So let's face it, you wouldn't be saying those things if you weren't trying to cover up a massive crush."

Demyx: "WHAT? That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my entire life! In fact –"

All his excitement causes him to slip and fall off his chair (screaming) face first onto the floor.

Demyx: "Oww…"

Xemnas: "Number IX. Please get off the floor or we'll have to kill you."

Xigbar: "Whoa! Xemnas! Dude, I think that's a little harsh considering we've already lost so many members."

Xemnas: "Yes, yes, I suppose you're right. Never mind, Demyx. We'll probably just send you on some impossible mission that you'll never be able to return from later in this story."

Demyx: "I didn't catch that last part. I think I broke my spleen."

Xaldin: "Wait a tick. If everyone at Castle Oblivion is dead, then that means that no one wins our bet! It's a draw!"

Luxord: "On the contrary. The bet was taken to see who had been terminated at the time the bet was taken, in which case you'll find that I was the actual winner."

Xigbar: "Oh blah blah blah, Luxord. You win every bet anyway. I came up with it, and therefore, I can change the rules."

Luxord: "Fine then…losers."

Demyx: "I don't think I even know what a spleen is, guys…"

Xion: "Roxas! I don't want to be the only girl! It seems like too much of a responsibility."

Roxas: "Oh…um…you're talking to me, I wasn't paying attention. Well…uh…oh, yeah. Being the only girl isn't that big of deal. I mean, if it makes you feel better, a lot of the guys here act a little like girls."

Xion: "Really? Like who?"

Roxas: "Er…Marluxia?"

Demyx: "Help? Someone?"

Xemnas: "Saix. You've been rather quiet this meeting session. Shouldn't you be taking attendance right about now?"

_Saix's inner mind theater:_

Berserker Saix: "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGE!"

_In the meeting:_

Saix: "…I'm sorry. What?"

Xemnas: "Well, anyway, I feel that we should all settle down and we should–"

Axel walks in.

Axel: "Hey guys! Sorry about all the confusion. I'm here!"

Xigbar: "HOLY SHIZNIT! Axel just pulled a Jesus on us! Or maybe he's just a zombie…"

Axel: "…Uh, no guys, I never actually died. Everyone else did, but not me."

Xigbar: "Aw, man. Cuz I'm all totally prepared for the zombie apocalypse and all."

Luxord: "HA! Xaldin, you sorely lost the bet!"

Xaldin: "Okay this is just cruel."

Luxord: "Pay up."

Axel: "So anyway, Saix!"

Saix snaps out of his inner mind theater.

Saix: "Hm?"

Axel leans over to whisper to him.

Axel: "I did what you asked me to, you know, about Zexion and how you wanted to secure your rank and all that."

Saix: "Wait…it was YOU!"

Axel: "Not so loud, Saix. What's the big deal?"

Saix: "What's the big deal? You've just ruined my nonexistant life! Now I have to take the attendance and talk to heart-shaped moons and have to possess an eternal reputation as Xemnas's buttkisser!"

Axel: "Um…he can hear you…"

Saix: "No he can't! Xemnas is physically incapable of hearing me when I raise my voice! But that's not the point! The point is I hate you and I hope that you will one day say something that will make girls think as though you do unspeakable things with Roxas!"

Thunder rumbles in the background.

Roxas: "Whoa. When did I get dragged into this?"

Axel: "Don't worry, Roxas. Nothing that ridiculous is ever going to happen."

Xemnas: "Axel! You're alive! Now there's no excuse for you to be interrupting me when I am addressing the entirety of the remaining organization. Go sit with your best friend."

Axel: "Um…okay. But, can I just ask why Demyx is on the floor?"

Luxord: "Oh, he's there because he heard about what happened to Larxene."

He winks.

Axel: "Of course. Well, you know what they say, Demyx. Love gives you wings, unless you're a Nobody in which case love causes you to fall to the floor and not be able to get back up."

Demyx: "Ha ha. That's very funny. Not. Oww…"

_Back in the World that Might Quite Probably Be…_

Zexion, Marluxia, Larxene, Lexaeus, and Vexen are sitting in a circle playing Uno.

Zexion: "Skip."

Marluxia: "Thanks. I haven't been able to take one turn yet."

Vexen: "This game is a ridiculous waste of our time. We should be spending more energy on trying to find a way out of this!"

Larxene: "Two."

Zexion: "Well, we're in the World that Might Quite Probably Be. There only might be a way out of here, leaving a very good chance that there also might not be. The only thing we can do at this point is remain uncertain."

Vexen: "Fine. Blue two. But can't we at least try and make it seem as though we're the villains plotting?"

Marluxia: "We tried that. And then we all got killed by kids with giant keys, a weird dog thing and a duck."

Lexaeus: "Blue three."

Larxene: "Face it, Vexen, no one really knows about the World that Might blah blah blah Be and nobody cares. The organization doesn't care that we're here. If anything, they're happy we're here. And the only person here who actually has a legitimate fanbase in the World that Really Actually Is is Zexion."

Marluxia: "Hey! I have fans!"

Zexion: "Not as much as me! Blue reverse."

Vexen: "Well even if we all had fans, we still wouldn't be able to get assistance from the World that Really Actually Is. The author told me that at the beginning of this chapter."

Lexaeus: "Draw two, Vexen."

Vexen: "Oh well. All I care about right now is finding a way out of this mess because THE GREAT SCIENTIST, VEXEN SHALL NEVER DIE!"

Marluxia mumbles under his breath.

Marluxia: "That's disappointing."

Vexen: "Draw four, Larxene."

Larxene: "Draw six, Marluxia."

Marluxia: "…You guys are cruel! I don't want to play anymore."

Zexion: "And that, Marluxia, is the attitude that caused you to fail miserably in taking over the organization."

Marluxia: "Oh, shut up. Everyone sabotaged me and you know it!"

He reluctantly draws six cards.

Zexion: "Wild Card. Yellow."

Lexaeus: "Yellow two. Uno."

Larxene: "This sucks. You know what, Vexen? I think I'll help you find a way out of here if my only other option is to sit here playing Uno with all you idiots."

Zexion: "Maybe we should invite Demyx down here to play with us."

Larxene: "OH COME ON! Namine told you that, too?"

Zexion: "Larxene, I know everything."

Larxene: "Well you must know that it's just some ridiculous story Namine made up and it's not at ALL true. I mean, if I had any other feelings towards Demyx other than hatred, I'd have prayed to the gods of Disney/Square Enix that he would fall off his chair in the Round Room and break his spleen so he'd eventually be sent down here with us."

_In the World that Never Was…_

Demyx is still on the floor.

Demyx: "You're all heartless bastards!"

Xigbar: "Well, obviously! We're Nobodies!"

_In the World that Might Quite Probably Be…_

Larxene: "And such a ridiculous thing like that would NEVER happen."

Zexion snickers.

Marluxia: "You know what? I think we should find a way out, too."

Vexen: "No one car–"

Marluxia: "I KNOW NO ONE CARES WHAT I THINK! But there's only five of us and if we're going to try and get out of this, we all need to be on board."

Zexion: "I didn't think I'd say this, but I agree with Marluxia."

Lexaeus: "So I'm guessing this means we're not playing Uno anymore?"

Vexen: "No, Lexaeus. Put your cards away. We are going to find a way out of the World that Might Quite Probably Be!"

Marluxia: "And then we kill Xemnas!"

Zexion: "Oh, that Sora and Riku will probably take care of that for us. So we should set a goal to try and get out before Xemnas gets in."

Larxene: "I vote we set a goal to get out before Demyx gets in."

Zexion: "Nah, that's a little too early."

Vexen: "Respect your elders, everyone! I was having my moment. LET OUT EPIC QUEST BEGIN!"

Lexaeus: "We're only starting this now because I was winning…"

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, now this story's just getting ridiculous. But anyway guys, how do YOU think the C.O. gang should get out of The World That Might Quite Probably Be? I'd like to hear what you think. I'd also like to hear about your take on LarxenexDemyx. I've seen some people say that those two will never be a couple AT ALL. I think that BECAUSE they hate each other, they should be together (believe it or not, they're my OTP), but if you guys really, really don't like that pairing just interpret the story according to Larxene and Demyx and their denials. On the subject of pairings, if you're into AkuRoku and you're offended by the "I hope you say something that will make fangirls think you and Roxas blah blah blah," just interpret the story as though Axel's just trying to cover up on the AkuRoku. I'm not into the pairing (at all) but...anywho, thanks for reading, and another thank you to my reviewers. My heart skips a beat everytime I see a little review message in my inbox. You guys are great.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'M BACK! I know that I've had reviews saying I should review sooner, but I have a life that consists of four honors courses and one AP class. So I'm really sorry about all the other writing I've been doing for school has worn me out to the point that I've been procrastinating on this story. But all that matters is that the chapter is out now. insert smiley face here So, hey, you should be expecting the next chapter at the latest by next month. Enjoy.

Xemnas: "Alright! We are gathered here to discuss the main issue of what is currently occurring in Organization XIII. Who is the decided candidate for Roxas's best friend."

Roxas: "Um, shouldn't I be the one to discuss that?"

Xemnas: "Of course not, Roxas! You're not allowed to have free will. Anyway, the matter at hand is whether Roxas's best friend should be Axel or that other girl."

Xion: "My name is Xion."

Xemnas: "Whatever, Zexion. I'm not talking to you. "

Xaldin: "Zexion's dead."

Saix: "In a much better place than I'll ever be…"

Roxas: "Can't they both be my best friends?"

Xemnas: "No."

Roxas: "Why?"

Xemnas: "Because if three people in this organization are all best friends, then that would mean we have friendship and kindness in our ranks, the very things that destroy villains such as us. Also it makes us less evil."

Demyx: "Wait, then why would he even need any best friend in the first place?"

Xemnas: "Because if he didn't, then we would be convicted for harboring unethical conditions in the workplace. We also need to abide by certain child protection laws for our youngest member."

Roxas: "Am I even legally allowed to work?"

Xion: "What about me?"

Xemnas: "Oh stop drawing attention to yourself, other girl. If you keep acting so needy, you might as well become the new Marluxia of the Organization."

Xion: "What? But I'm not- Roxas! Stand up for me!"

Roxas: "Seriously, am I allowed to work at this age?"

Axel: "It doesn't matter. We're the bad guys. We do bad things."

Roxas: "Wow. This place actually sucks."

Demyx: "Really? You couldn't tell when you came?"

Luxord: "Well, apart from this whole best friend issue, don't we have other, more important things to look after?"

Xaldin: "Like the kid with the blindfold who is currently trying to infiltrate the organization?"

Xigbar: "Or searching for the Chamber of Waking?"

Axel: "Or finding out where Namine is?"

Xion: "Or helping me solve my identity crisis without me causing our other Keyblade user leave the Organization?"

Roxas: "Or eliminating the Heartless threats?"

Demyx: "Or completing Kingdom Hearts?"

Saix: "Or the fact that five of our members are now dead?"

Xemnas: "You people are such Prima Donnas! We need to give Roxas a best friend!"

Roxas: "I already have best friends! Can't we just leave it at that?"

Xemnas: "No! Don't you see the importance of it all?"

Demyx: "Being evil sucks."

Xigbar: "Hey Demyx, wanna leave and grab something from the kitchen?"

Demyx: "Hell yes!"

Xaldin: "I'll come too, since I'm not a candidate for Roxas's best friend."

Luxord: "Neither am I. I might as well go since I'm not involved."

Saix: "Same."

Xigbar: "No, Saix. You have to stay here to take the attendance."

Xemnas: "That reminds me–"

Saix: "SCREW YOU, XEMNAS!"

He and the others leave.

Xemnas: "I wonder what's wrong with him."

_**In the World that Might Quite Probably Be…**_

Vexen: "Alright, has anyone here come up with a breakthrough to get us out of here?"

Nobody responds.

Vexen: "Oh come on! Do I have to do everything myself?"

Larxene: "Well, you did say at one point that all of our ideas were stupid and you should just do everything yourself."

Vexen: "I never said such a thing! I was expecting you people to come up with something."

Zexion: "So in other words, you didn't come up with anything either."

Vexen: "I never said that. But yes."

Marluxia: "What's the point? We're dealing with a problem that peope have struggled over for centuries and have failed every time. No one can bring the dead back to life."

Zexion: "But we only _might_ be dead. So that means we also might be alive! We just need to get out of–"

Larxene: "Oh, shut up, Zexion. We all get the whole everything only might be and stuff."

Zexion: "Well then. I guess we should begin by assessing our surroundings."

He looks around, as does everyone else.

Zexion: So…I see a hill."

Vexen: "I see a path leading up the hill."

Marluxia: "I see a rock at the top of the hill that the path leads up to."

Larxene: "And I see a tree growing out of the rock at the top of the hill that the path leads up to."

There is an awkward pause.

Vexen: "Well that accomplished absolutely nothing."

Marluxia: "Wait! After having dealt with plants for my entire time in the organization, I can tell you that the tree Larxene pointed out is a Quercus lobata, a member of the Fagaceae family which is unable to survive in the poor, gravely, well-drained soil that the rock offers! That tree is growing in an unnatural environment."

Vexen: "You shut up. You're not supposed to be the smart one. That's my job only."

Zexion: "Um, hello?"

Larxene: "Besides, Marluxia, we're in the World that Might Quite Probably Be. Anything can happen."

Marluxia: "But it doesn't make any ecological sense!"

Zexion: "Larxene is right. Anything can happen here."

Larxene: "So that might mean a portal could open up to the World that Really Actually Is or something could open up and get us out."

Marluxia: "And that might mean that the way to get us out might have something to do with that tree!"

Zexion: "Well now that you mention it, the tree is the most suspicious looking thing in sight."

Vexen: "Okay, so we're going with Flower Child's stupid tree idea. Anyone have any ideas along those lines?"

Marluxia: "Flower child?"

Lexaeus: "We could staple it!"

There is a very long awkward silence.

Larxene: "Lexaeus, what the fu–"

Zexion: "Wait a minute! Do you mean to say we staple it with a broken stapler?"

Marluxia: "I don't understand."

Zexion: "Lexaeus and I once played a game of charades and he was a broken stapler, and he told me it had something to do with a tree."

Vexen: "Lexaeus, are you stupid enough to believe that a tree and a broken stapler have anything to do with each other–"

Lexaeus: "Actually, dueing that game of charades, I was suddenly hit by some subconscious notion that stapling some sort of tree with a broken stapler from The World That Never Was would create a rift in the space time continuum that would allow those with power over the elements to exit the world they exist in and then appear in another world in a completely intact state. Then I dismissed the thought."

Larxene: "My god. That must be the longest thing you've ever said in your entire life!"

Lexaeus: "And don't ever make me do it again."

Vexen: "So our problem is solved. All we need is a broken stapler to staple that tre with and then we're free!"

Zexion: "But he said we need a broken stapler from the World that Never Was. We can't use one from here."

Larxene: "So we'll have to somehow contact someone in the World that Never Was to bring one down when they fade."

Marluxia: "But we can tell that to anyone in the organization, since Xemnas might find out about our escape plot."

Vexen: "So we'll have to contact someone who isn't really a member of the organization, but is still close to it."

Lexaeus: "And isn't a lesser nobody who can't talk."

Zexion: "How about Xion?"

Marluxia: "Who?"

Larxene: "Right! Number XIV in an organization with thirteen people!"

Vexen: "Not to mention, she's some sort of Sora clone who has a Keyblade."

Zexion: "So it's all settled. We'll find a way to contact Xion so she can be our go-between and bring us the magic broken stapler!"

Larxene "Then we staple the tree and we're alive!"

Vexen: "This plan is foolproof!"

They all high-five each other.

Marluxia: "Hey guys! Is this what 'working together' is like?"

Larxene: "I think so. Then again we've been working with Xemnas for Disney knows how long so how would we know?"

_**Back on top of that weird looking clock tower in Twilight Town…**_

Roxas: "So that was sort of an awkward meeting."

Axel: "Yeah, I don't really understand what happened. Was it me or Xion who was decided to be your best friend?"

Roxas: "I don't know. I wasn't listening."

Xion: "Well I was and Roxas's best friend is–"

She has a dazed look on her face suddenly.

Roxas: "Uh…Xion?"

Xion: "I just got this feeling that I'm supposed to tell people to bring a magical broken stapler to an unknown world that might be."

Axel: "Xion, have you been drinking too many elixirs from the Moogle?"

Xion: "No, it's not that I- I don't know anymore. What was I saying?"

Axel: "Roxas's best friend is…"

Xion: "Uh…I don't know…I just forgot."

Roxas: "Okay, so you're both my friends. It's back to the way it was before."

Axel: "Wow, nothing was accomplished today."

Roxas: "Nothing at all."

A/N: I came up with the concept for this chapter after my stapler broke.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey faithful readers who probably forgot about me because I've been gone for so long, but this time I have a legitimate reason and it doesn't have anything to do with my AP composition course. So I tried out for the school play and GUESS WHO GOT THE LEAD! Not me, but I still got a FREAKING BIG PART so I've been gone for the past couple of months trying to balance schoolwork and this play I'm in. Believe it or not, actually, I had written this chapter during the holidays so it had some holiday themes in it, but I never got the time to finish it until last week during my down time at rehearsal. So, I hope you enjoy this. I hope it was worth the wait.

* * *

><p><strong>In the shower that never was…<strong>

Demyx: "And IIIIIIIII will always love you-"

Xemnas: "Number IX! Stop singing that infernal Whitney Houston song! You know we only can sing 'Simple and Clean' when we're in the shower."

Demyx: "Ah! Dude! I'm in the shower!"

Xemnas: "I know, I've just established that. And as Nobodies, we can only sing Kingdom Hearts related songs or else we'll have a trademark issue."

Demyx: "Dude! Get out!"

Xemnas: "No. You get out. The organization is summoned to the round room. I fear that this issue is of the utmost importance."

Demyx: "Fine, fine, important stuff, yeah. Just let me put some clothes on."

Xemnas: "Good lord, Number IX! You shower with no clothes on?"

Demyx: "…You don't?"

Xemnas: "Good Heavens, no! I wear my Organization XIII Bathrobe that looks suspiciously similar to our ordinary robes when I shower like _normal_ Nobodies."

He leaves, disgusted.

Demyx: "…_Normal_ Nobodies?"

**In the Round Room…**

Xemnas is the only one dressed in full uniform. Everyone else is either in pajamas or in a towel or whatever one might wear in the morning.

Xemnas: "Alright, Organization. We have some grave news. Our issue here is of simple observation. Saix will make it clear to us by taking attendance."

Everybody groans.

Xaldin: "Why can't you just freaking tell us?"

Axel: "Yeah! Most of us haven't put in our hair products yet."

Xemnas: "Are you questioning my judgment? If you are, I shall ban all hair products from The World That Never Was."

A surprisingly quick formal attendance ensues.

Saix: "And ten, Luxord, the Gambler of Fate?"

Luxord: "Here."

Xemnas: "Alright, now did anyone notice anything?"

Everyone else is either asleep or not paying attention.

Xemnas: "Well since you all obviously didn't, I will just tell you."

Xaldin: "He could have done that before…"

Xemnas: "Roxas and Xion are no longer a part of this organization."

Nobody reacts.

Xemnas: "Did you not just hear me? Why is nobody showing any feelings of shock or surprise?"

Axel: "Superior, Roxas and Xion have been gone for over three months."

Xaldin: "Yeah, so did you wake us all up to tell us something we already knew?"

Xemnas: "So all of you knew this? Why did you not tell me? We have a rule that you must tell me everything!"

Demyx: "We do?"

Xemnas: "Yes! And now I have more than enough reason to ban hair products-"

Everyone: "No!"

Saix: "But Superior! You were there when Roxas and Xion decided to leave!"

Luxord: "Yes. Don't you remember?"

**Three months earlier…**

Roxas: "Xemnas, Xion and I have been doing some research and we've discovered that we're below the working age."

Xemnas: "Psh. No. If you were, I wouldn't have hired you. And Xion is just a clone thing. Go eat a stapler, Xion."

Xion: "W-what?"

She starts to cry.

Roxas: "Hey! Now you've made her cry!"

Xemnas: "Don't be ridiculous. Nobodies can't cry."

Roxas: "She's right here, crying! Now she might have some crazy identity crisis and then turn into some teacup monster that's annoyingly evil to beat."

Xemnas: "Leave my presence."

Roxas: "Not until you apologize to Xion."

Axel: "Er, Roxas, you might just want to drop this just in case Xion might actually turn into that teacup monster you were talking about."

Roxas: "No. Xion is my friend and I'm upholding my reputation as the only good person in this organization because I'm the hero's Nobody."

Axel: "Whoa, Castle Oblivion déjà vu."

Demyx: "Wait, did he just call the rest of us bad people?"

Xigbar: "Yep, but we technically are. Cuz you know that creepy wizard guy with the beard was all like 'you must destroy Organization XIII and all that crap.'"

Luxord: "Xigbar, that didn't happen yet. We're still in the three hundred and whatever days arc."

Xigbar: "Dude, I know everything. This eye under my eyepatch, here? Sees the future."

Luxord: "I call bullshit. I'm time. You're space. You can't see the future."

Xigbar: "You want to bring it?"

Luxord: "Yeah, I want to bring it!"

They engage in a time vs. space brawl over Demyx's seat.

Demyx: "Ugh, as soon as Larxene's gone, they move my seat between these two."

Roxas: "Well anyway, Superior, if I should even call you that, I also think that me and Xion should get paid more since we actually kill the Heartless and everyone else just makes more Heartless."

Saix: "Roxas, I hate to break it to you, but I work way harder than you do and I don't get paid at all."

Xaldin: "Yeah, it's a 'harder you work, the less you get paid' system here as far as our paychecks are concerned. That's why most of us stick to living off of rewards we get from missions."

Roxas: "So we're basically slaves?"

Axel: "Not really. I mean we have that one day off each year."

Roxas: "Wait, that was our only one for this year? And I spent it hitting a freaking ball up in the air!"

Xaldin: "Your loss."

Roxas: "What about Christmas?"

Saix: "We don't celebrate Christmas."

Roxas: "Hanukkah?"

Saix: "No, we celebrate Dark-Sad-Depressing-Nonexistant-maskah."

Demyx: "DSDN-maskah."

Axel: "Which is basically a regular work day."

Roxas: "Okay. I'm suing."

Axel: "Trust me, Roxas. We've tried."

Roxas: "Well then I'll just leave this organization."

Xemnas: "CEASE! I forbid you from leaving! The rules say that you can only leave if you have a good reason. Preferably if you are dead."

Roxas: "Well I have a good reason. You have too many rules. Hell, we're only allowed one song to sing in the shower!"

Xemnas: "I keep telling you people, that's because we have a trademark issue!"

Demyx: "Hey, Xemnas? I hope you don't mind me asking, but can I possibly move my seat?"

Xemnas: "Number IX, do you want to be the next one to die?"

Demyx: "…No."

Xemnas: "Then no seat complaining. Why are you still here, Teacup- I mean Xion? Go eat a stapler!"

**Back to the present…**

Demyx: "So yeah, we were all there."

Xemnas: "Hey! He didn't have a good reason!"

Axel: "He had a good reason! But I guess you forgot that, too."

**Twilight Town three months ago…**

Roxas: "Oh my Disney! I'm sorry, Xion! You just turned into that teacup monster and I had to fight you or I'd die because you killed me."

Xion: "I'm going back to Sora. You can't let Xemnas finish Kingdom Hearts."

Roxas: "But Xion! Who else will eat ice cream with me?"

Xion: "And you have to- Wait. Who else will eat ice cream-? Ice cream? Who else will eat ICE CREAM with you? That's it? That ALL you can say? Really? Ice cream? Is that all you care about? You're no better than all the others."

Roxas: "But Xion-"

Xion: "And to think I had feelings for you! I'm leaving. I'm fed up with everybody using me just because I'm number fourteen in an organization with thirteen people. Everyone's always like, 'Kill the Heartless, Xion.' 'Eat ice cream with me, Xion.' 'Go eat a stapler, Xion.' 'You're a teacup, Xion.' 'Don't ask questions about your identity, Xion.' 'Tell the Organization to bring a magical broken stapler to The World That Might Quite Probably Be, Xion.' 'Stop being such a Mary-Sue, Xion.'"

Roxas: "Wait, what was that last one?"

Xion: "Stop being such a Mary-Sue, Xion."

Roxas: "No, the one before that."

Xion: "It doesn't matter. You're not worth it. I'm leaving."

She starts to leave with surprisingly much more energy than any normal female clone of a male would have if they were about to crystallize and be absorbed by a spiky haired kid with abnormally large feet or something moments earlier.

Roxas: "No, Xion! Wait! Who else will eat ice cream- I mean…uh…Wow, I really can't come up with a better phrase?"

**Back to the present in the Round Room…**

Axel: "And so Roxas came back with his good reason: that he's ill because he can't think of anything except ice cream and he left saying leaving a possibility that he might come back once he's figured out what the hell is going on."

Xemnas: "Well you better make sure he comes back or else there will be a ban on hair products and you all know that you don't want that temporary ban on again."

Demyx: "Thank Disney it was only temporary."

Xemnas: "Because if we don't get Roxas back to help me finish taking over the world- I mean, to help us complete Kingdom Hearts, then this won't just be a temporary ban. It will be the real deal, and you'll never use hair products again for the rest of your meaningless existence! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!"

Luxord: "Okay. It's official. He is insane."

Axel: "Er, I don't know about you, Luxord, but I'm freaking terrified here."

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><p>AN: Yeah, no World that Might Quite Probably Be here. I need to move the plot along in the World That Never Was first. Xion didn't tell the Organization about the stapler! Oh no! What will happen to the forlorn travelers in the World that Might Quite Probably Be? Why am I talking like this? Anyway, don't you all think that Simple and Clean has the perfect title of a song to be sung in the shower? I do. Try it sometime. Sing it to the shower head. "Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight!" Eh, what the hell am I saying. Reviews! I love them! And a special thank you to for being my one and only reviewer of chapter 6 because if I had gotten none, then I probably would not have written this chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Guys! I'm alive! Ya like the new summary? I don't either, but it's better than the last one. As for where I've been, if I were to give you an excuse, it would go on and on and you don't want to read that because you probably stopped reading when you figured that I wouldn't update. But anyway, I actually wrote this on my Spring break on the plane and forgot about it so I will post up this chapter now, and hopefully I'll get some new readers. Enjoy!

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><p>Larxene: "Okay guys. It's been three months since we told Xion to bring down that stapler and 5 months since the author updated this story, so I think it's safe to say that nothing is going to happen."<p>

Marluxia: "No, Larxene, we are going to keep a positive attitude towards this situation and just keep on waiting."

Larxene: "We've been waiting for months and I'm sick and tired of being stuck here in this place with you people!"

Marluxia: "Well I think we should- Oh, who am I kidding? I hate you people, too."

Vexen: "Perhaps we should find a different strategy."

Larxene: "No shit."

Zexion: "I have a question. At what point in the plot are we supposed to be at?"

Vexen: "What plot? There's a plot?"

Zexion: "Well anyway, what my idea is, maybe if we knew what was going on in the World That Never Was and all the other various worlds, we could use one of the plot devices to somehow get us a stapler."

Larxene: "You know that staplers have nothing to do with the plot, right?"

Zexion: "Yeah…"

Marluxia: "Okay, my idea is-"

Vexen: "No, Marluxia. You're not allowed to share any idea before me. It's bad enough Zexion had to."

Marluxia: "Well anyway, I'm going to ignore you and just say, we drop the stapler idea and find something else that actually has to do with the plot. Like a key!"

Zexion: "Keyblades! Of course!"

Marluxia: "And we know how to contact Xion who actually has one!"

Larxene: "Hey, you're right!"

Lexaeus: "The stapler gag was getting old anyway."

Vexen: "Well I won't let Marluxia get the credit for an idea that might get us out because I've found a flaw in his argument."

Marluxia: "Oh yeah? What flaw?"

Larxene: "And what argument?"

Vexen: "Well if you haven't noticed, we already contacted Xion and nothing has happened for three months and if I'm not mistaken, she probably pulled some joining with Sora stunt, hence she isn't here."

Larxene: "Oh my Disney, XION! THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOU!"

Marluxia: "Calm down."

Larxene: "What do you mean, calm down? I've been stuck here playing Uno and Charades with people I don't like for three months and now maybe more and all just because Xion doesn't care enough! And you want me to calm down?"

Marluxia: "Well, don't get all mad at me! It's not like I came up with this dumb idea, ZEXION."

Zexion: "Hey! You DID come up with it!"

Vexen: "Yeah, but you decided to elect yourself head idea comer-upper!"

Zexion: "That's because I'm the head strategist of the organization!"

Vexen: "But we're not in the organization anymore, so I'm the strategist!"

Zexion: "Your ideas suck!"

Vexen: "Not as much as Marluxia's who brought us here!"

Marluxia: "Whoa. You're blaming our being stuck here on me?"

Vexen: "Well if you and Larxene hadn't pulled that whole 'let's take over the organization' scheme."

Larxene: "I was bored! I only tagged along!"

Marluxia: "Stop making it look like you weren't involved."

Larxene: "I was trying to get away from Demyx!"

Marluxia: "Oh, come on. Namine made it perfectly clear that you're into him."

Larxene: "Oh, you did NOT just go there!"

Zexion: "Stop it! I will not tolerate you arguing over such trivial matters! We are in a serious situation here! This is not a Romance fic!"

Vexen: "Who put you in charge all of a sudden?"

Zexion: "Who put YOU in charge EVER?"

Spiderzrmahfriendz: "You still had no right to break the fourth wall. Now I have to rebuild it."

Lexaeus: "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

Immediate stunned silence ensues.

Marluxia: "Holy shit…"

Lexaeus: "We are here and we can not get out so you people have to learn to live with each other until we find a way that works. We are going to pay close attention to the World that Is to find some sort of event in this plot that will help us out. Vexen, we need as many ideas as we can, so people can come up with their own whenever they want. Marluxia, don't bring up Demyx to Larxene because we don't want more problems. Larxene, please just try and get along with everybody. I know it's hard. Zexion, the same goes for you. I'm in charge now and you people do what I say without questioning! We are going to get along and get out and if any of you start fighting, I will smack you on the back of the head with my very heavy tomahawk until you understand the true meaning of friendship! You understand!"

Vexen, Zexion, Marluxia, Larxene: "Yes, Superior."

Lexaeus: "Good. Now everybody, let's get on the friendship ship and go!"

Larxene: "Wait, did we just call him 'Superior?'"

Zexion: "Yep. Scary, isn't it."

_**In the Grey Room of the Castle that Never Was...**_

Xemnas: "Okay, I've actually never been in this room ever before and I must say that I am appalled at how commonly you are treating this room."

Axel: "Well what did you expect? It's the common room!"

Xemnas: "Well anywho, I've just gathered you here because the Round Room is currently having some renovations done on it so we'll just have our weekly meeting here."

Luxord: "Wait. Renovations?"

Demyx: "Oh! Are you going to fix those chairs to make them a normal height? My spleen still hurts from the time I fell off them three months ago."

Xemnas: "Oh my Disney, Demyx, no more seat stuff. And besides, you can't take away those chairs' heights. Those are the most evil things in the room! What is actually being done is the Lesser Nobodies are creating a sound system so every time we have a meeting, this song will play."

He pulls out a remote, pushes a button, and all of a sudden, that dark, depressing piano song that's apparently Organization XIII's theme starts playing out of the walls.

Xigbar: "Depressing."

Xemnas: "I know right! Isn't it wonderful!"

Xaldin: "That song is going to get annoying after a while. I know it."

Xemnas: "Well anyway, we have reached a very important point in our story– Kingdom Hearts 2. Right now Roxas is doing Disney knows what in the digital land of perpetual summer vacation and we need to get him back because you know the deal."

Axel: "No hair products for any of us, except you."

Xemnas: "Yes. And if you want those hair products, you have to use any means necessary, even if it gives you an eternal reputation among fans in The World That Really Actually Is that you are in love with Roxas. But anyway, just in case he merges with Sora, we need to be prepared because Sora is happy and we are not so we need to balance out his happiness by making it completely obvious that we are the depressing, completely not happy, bad guys. So we are adding in this music and we're just going to keep playing it continuously on repeat for this entire meeting to get used to it because we're going to be doing that for all the other meetings from now on."

Xaldin: "Told you this song was going to get annoying."

Saix: "I think it already has."

Xemnas: "Now when we have our more evil meetings, I need you all to cooperate with me and–"

Demyx: "Cooperate?! What does that mean?"

Xemnas: "…Nothing, it doesn't mean anything. Shut up, number IX."

Luxord: "It means working together."

Demyx: "Oh. Well then that's kind of impossible since we-"

Xemnas: "NUMBER NINE! SILENCE!"

A wave of darkness passes over Demyx making his hair stand up. He falls over, dazed and petrified.

Axel: "Hey! We found a substitute for hair products!"

A cheer arises through all the members, save for Xemnas but is then immediately silenced by a wave of darkness passing over them, causing them all to fall over like Demyx.

Xemnas: "The things I do to be evil. Well, I guess because all of you are imbeciles, meeting adjourned. Goodness, it's like I live with ignorant Nobodies who can't be asked to do anything because they don't know what the word 'cooperate' means. Oh wait…"

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><p>AN: Okay to clear it all up, the organization lives in The World that Never Was. All the other worlds in Kingdom Hearts (Destiny Islands, Traverse Town, Radiant Garden, etc.) make up The World that Is. We, on our side of the fourth wall, reside in The World that Really Actually Is (don't get them confused) and the Nobodies from Castle Oblivion have ended up in the World that Might Quite Probably Be. I think I've made my own brain hurt.

Anywho, let's get on the Friendship Ship and sail away!


End file.
